Keep the lights on in your room and please watch from a distance.
[A cold is spreading at the Hostess Club. And, right when they are expecting an important customer...]
[The "GinTama" anime is being criticized. And, right when there's an episode like this...]
[Hostess Club Smile]
Huh? You caught a cold, too, Hanako-chan?
I'm sorry.
I have a low fever, and I can't stop coughing.
I don't want to pass it on to the customers.
Ah, all right, all right. Just go home today and rest.
I'm really sorry.
Make sure you wear a lot of warm clothes, drink lots of POCARI and sweat it out.
[Note: POCARI is a Japanese sports drink.]
All right.
You'd better not underestimate a low fever! Take care of yourself.
This is bad...
The cold is spreading. The hostess club feels like a funeral.
And we host a VIP guest tomorrow...
As I recall, he's a very important Bakufu official.
This is bad...
Well, this is really bad...
Aren't there any girls available?
Well...
...just one...
["Rank Has Nothing to Do With Luck"]
This is bad...
No, this is worse than you thought.
No, this is way worse than you thought.
...But why of all people...
Well, it's said that an idiot can't catch a cold-
I'm sorry. May I take the day off tomorrow?
Make sure you wear a white gown, take lots of sleeping pills and get enough sleep.
[Note: White clothes often symbolize death. She's suggesting he kill himself.]
All right.
You'd better not underestimate a woman, okay?
[THE NEXT DAY]
People say that love is a sickness.
The hostesses who make men lovesick all caught colds?
You hostesses have no professional pride, bastards.
But you look fine. You look as healthy as always.
So it's true that an idiot-
Well, it's a shame. But I can't open my club with just one hostess.
Is there any way you can help us, Gin-san?
You're the owner of Odd Jobs, aren't you? So you must know a lot of people.
It should be easy for you to introduce a couple of cute girls to us.
If there were a pretty girl around, I'd introduce her to myself.
There's a pretty girl right here!
Tonight we are hosting a top government official who is a friend of Matsudaira.
Hey, stop ignoring me.
It's a rare opportunity to get a prestigious customer like him.
I'll pay you generously, so please help us.
Hey, beard! Hey!
Cute girls, hmm... No one pops up in my mind...
Hey, over here! Open your eyes!
What you're looking for is right next to you!
Aside from their looks, most of them are not nice... Ah, there's one.
Yes! This one, this one.
Well...no. If she doesn't have antennas and a psycho gun on her left arm...
[Note: Refers to a character from COBRA, a manga from the 80s.]
Who is that?! Is she like a monster?!
Um... If it's all right, can I call up my friends? I know many pretty girls.
No. You can't trust a woman who says she knows "pretty women."
She always brings girls who don't look as good as her.
Did you have some bad experiences with that, Gin-san?
Excuse me.
Um... Is Tae-chan here? I've brought something for her.
Ah...
...Um...
Well... what...?
Kyu-chan, you're really cute!
This is great! This girl is fantastic!
You bastard! What are you doing with our Young Lord?
Wait. Calm down. We have a bit of a complicated situation here.
Please help us out for a while. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
Give me a break! As you bastards already know...! Young Lord...
Young Lord...!
...would look much better wearing a Goth-Loli costume!
I don't know much about this, but if Tae-chan is in trouble, I will help.
I'm sorry to make you feel uncomfortable, Kyu-chan.
No problem. I'm not sure if I can handle this, but I'll give it a try.
No, Young Lord!
A hostess engages in a 30-minute, one-round match
No. The place you go to isn't a hostess club.
with a strange customer... And it feels really nice...
I didn't go, Young Lord!
I'm telling you, I didn't pay 10,000 yen for a one-time course! Please don't hate me.
Don't worry. I've hated you all along.
But are you really okay with this, Kyu-chan?
You've lived as a man until now, and now you'll accompany men...
It'll be just like talking with my friends, right?
Well, a conversation might be all right, but there're guys who'll slap your ass.
Are you fine with that?
I'll be patient but somewhat ashamed. I've caused you guys a lot of trouble before.
So I want to help you as much as possible.
Kyu-chan...
Well, if you're sure it's all right...but don't push yourself.
Regardless of whether you're a man or a woman,
it's natural to feel uncomfortable when someone touches your ass.
If you touch Young Lord in such a friendly manner, you'll get tossed like that.
Young Lord likes young girls, but if some pathetic man touches her,
it makes her skin crawl and she does what she just did now.
Stop talking like that.
You react like that even when someone just touches your shoulder.
Do you think you can really have a match with a customer on the mat?
We already told you that's not it!
If I rub lotion all over my body, they won't be able to do anything to me. They can't beat me!
I'm saying that's all wrong. Why are you talking about lotion pro-wresting?
Please stop this already.
It's about time we head back or we'll miss the rerun of Hachikuro.
[Note: Hachikuro (Honey and Clover) is a TV show/anime.]
Let's go home.
I am Ayumu Tojo! My life's mission is to protect the Young Lord!
So, I'll become a hostess and protect Young Lord to the end!
Well, at this point, we somehow have three...
No, we don't. And I think one person is a complete mismatch.
Why does he have a towel wrapped around himself?
Why is he hiding his chest? That really pisses me off.
How many more people do you need?
I need at least three more.
If you count me in, we need only two more.
Three more... That'll be more work.
Hey, only two more.
Don't you know anyone? Anyone's all right, as long as she's good-looking.
Hey, listen to me. Or I'll cry.
I already talked to one girl, so it'll work.
Damn it. Forget it.
Ah, you already called her. That's great, Odd Jobs.
Hello there. I came here because I heard I could get free sake!
Did you hear what I said?!
She'll serve as a foil. In a group, someone like her is essential.
It's like SPEED, or Momusu. Whatever.
[Note: SPEED and Momusu (short for Morning Musume) are all-female J-pop groups.]
It's going completely haywire! Why are you wrapped in a towel, too?!
It's a service to TV viewers, of course.
For now, give me ten million yen as my performance fee!
Not only is she lacking in the looks department, but her personality is the worst.
Two more...
Hey! What?! From the ceiling?
Hey, you.
Stand up, Stalker. Starting today, you're a hostess, too.
Don't touch me!
I didn't!
I don't know anything about the Yagyu Arc or anything else.
But you left me alone for a long time, and I finally spotted you in the previous episode.
And now you're asking me to work as a hostess? That...
That...
...makes me so fired up.
You know exactly how to get me all excited!
Well... You're also a mismatch.
But that's okay, as long as you're good-looking.
Really, I don't know what kind of group this is, except that they all look like girls.
Fine. There're six here.
Oh? I only count five. We're one short.
Hey...
Don't drink. You can drink Koronamin-C, though.
[Note: Parody of Oronamin-C, a carbonated beverage.]
Gin-chan...
Is this a monster house?!
Manager! Our guest has arrived.
Eh? Already? What should we do?
Everyone, hurry! Let's go greet him!
The glorious path of the hostesses has begun.
All right!
Can they handle it?
They'll be all right. They will...
Hey... Hurry and get up there.
The lotion's making me slip...
Hey! What are you doing?!
Before they even got to see any customers, they croaked on the job!
Come on! Hey! What was your reason for even coming here?!
You've doing nothing but cause trouble!
For now, let's clean up.
It looks unnatural to leave these guys on the floor.
Be careful! These guys are really slippery! Watch your step!
Ma-Manager!
Take...care of... my club...
Manager!!
Let's clean him up, too.
So fast! That was a quick change of heart!
What? I don't see many hostesses here tonight. We can't go crazy with this.
Don't worry. There'll be plenty more once we get there.
They're coming!
What should we do now? She said there'd be "plenty."
We've gotta do something right now!
Ah, what are you guys doing? Hurry up and come over here.
See, Matsudaira-san, everybody's waiting for you.
Hello! I'm Pako.
I'm Pachie.
So why are you guys wrapped in towels?!
We didn't have time to change!
Huh?
I see many new faces today. Are they all new?
[Hostess Club Smile]
Wh-Why...?!
Of all people, why are the Shinsengumi, the top people in the government, here?!
Ah, what are you guys doing?! I didn't know you were interested in such things...
This is bad. If they're our guests...we have to not only attend...
We can't walk with our heads held high... Gin-san! What should we do?!
Welcome!
Gin-san!
Don't tell me...! Does he think he's well disguised?
What is he trying to do with that?
Stick out your chin and mumble, Pachie. Mumble softly.
Mao Daichi said on TV that if you mumble, no one would recognize you.
[Note: Mao Daichi is a musical star actress.]
No way! They'll find out...
It's like putting on a black tank top and briefs and saying "I'm Death."
Kagura-chan, can you say something to this idiot?
I'm Gurako. It's nice to meet you, bastard.
[Note: Kagura is imitating Antonio Inoki, who is known for his turned-up chin.]
She already did it! She's mumbling! This girl...!
My hobby is shooting sixteen times with automatic fire.
Huh? Hey, Kyubei-san?
My hobby is Star Soldier.
[Note: Star Soldier is a series of shoot'em up video games.]
Hey, don't copy the way she speaks! What kind of hostess club is this?!
Is this a club where everyone mumbles?
I already told you that you completely misunderstood the situation!
Why is she doing Yasugibushi?
[Note: Yasugibushi is a local folk song of the Shimane prefecture.]
Hey, I see some good masochism here.
Hey, the sadist part of him awakened!
Hey, lady, I can put something much better than toothpicks up your nose.
Please get out of this club! I don't mind paying you for that!
[Don't get so cocky! You white-assed brat. Come back when your hair down there becomes a natural perm. Then we'll talk.]
You're really something.
How could he even understand what she said?
Hey, Sogo, you'd better stop now.
We didn't come here today for fun.
Yo, what's up? There's no need to hesitate. Have some drinks.
No, we can't do that.
What? They didn't come here for drinks?
That's a relief! Huh? Hold on... Then why did they come?
Well, please enjoy your time here. We'll be outside standing guard...
...my Lord...
Gin-san, did you just hear him say, "my Lord"?
Yeah. No... but it can't be...
Hey, he just said "my Lord."
There's no way something like that could have happened.
Why would Shogun-sama come to a hostess club like this?
Well, please come in, my Lord.
Hey, you just called him "my Lord," too.
My Lord is a very common name.
[Note: In Japanese the term uesama means "my lord" and is often written on receipts to show respect for the customer.]
People always use that name on their receipt.
Well, but...
Did you just hear him wrong? Something like Uesugi-san?
Well, that's true. There's no way the Shogun would come here.
Yo, Sho-chan! Over here!
See. He's even called Sho-chan.
Sho-chan is a cute nickname.
But tell me your real name. I'm just curious.
The Seii Taishogun, Shigeshige Tokugawa.
[Note: Shogun is the shortened form of the title Seii Taishogun.]
Since I'm the Shogun, call me Sho-chan.
Come on. You like telling jokes, don't you? What do you do for a living?
I just said I'm the Seii Taishogun.
Wow! Tendon? You're such a funny man.
[Note: In Japanese comedy, saying the same joke twice is called a "Tendon."]
The second squad and third squad go way back!
Listen up. Don't let even a mouse through!
Even if a meteor falls from the sky...
...we'll protect our Lord!
But, really, this is a lot of work with our Lord here.
The Shogun is being schooled on how to have a great night life.
Every time he does that, we're the ones who have to guard him.
I hope he understands how we feel.
Our Lord is always cooped up in his castle,
so our boss wants him to breathe some fresh air.
Ever since our Lord's father passed away, our boss has been his substitute father.
Where on earth...
...is there a father who takes his son to a hostess club?
Well, he's more a bad influence than a father.
A man needs only one bad influence rather than thousands of followers.
Therefore, Toshi... Why don't we go in and have some drinks with Otae-san?
I don't need that kind of bad influence.
He's the real one! He's every inch the Seii Taishogun!
What we should do?!
Don't lose your cool! Calm down! For now, let's get his autograph.
Ah, we don't have a square card! Can we use this mat? It'll work, right?
You're the one who needs to calm down!
There's no way we can give this slippery mat to the Shogun!
Calm down and listen, Pachie!
If we handle this job, we'll get big money!
But, on the other hand, there'll be high risk, too!
You know, if we do anything careless, we may lose our heads!
I just said calm down. Are you only after the money?!
Here we go. Another cup of sake.
Fortunately, those dull girls don't realize the truth.
Don't say anything about the Shogun.
It'll upset them and we'll fail. We need to calm down, and-
Hey, you, the mumbling woman, come over here!
What's wrong with the mumbling girl?
A woman with a little secret is the best!
Hey, calm down! Calm down!
Hey, you over there with the pigtails, the person who looks like she's from a school that's going to close!
You come here, too!
Don't underestimate pigtails!
At first glance, she looks a bit clunky, and nobody pays attention to her in class.
But with a little polish she'll become pretty. A man likes that kind of woman!
Calm down, Shinpachi!
Even if you were polished, you'd be like the bell of a rusty bike!
Hmm... Looks like we have enough people now.
Be patient.
You, too.
Well, I'm getting drunk, so it's about time to...
...start the Shogun-sama game!
Shogun-sama game?
Let me explain the rules.
The Shogun-sama game
starts with writing numbers and the name "Shogun" on wooden chopsticks.
The one who draws the stick with "Shogun" on it
can give dirty commands to another person, who can't refuse.
It's a game for adults only. Or it's like a king game.
Ah-ha, Matsudaira-san,
you're using this game to cover up the fact that you're doing something dirty, right?
No, no. I'll just be a facilitator this time. Well, young people can have fun.
Let's see who gets the Shogun-sama stick!
Well... I mean...
Shogun-sama is right here...
All right, let's begin. Draw a stick. First come, first-served...
Really... They have no intention of entertaining the customers.
They're just focused on their own desires.
But this is a big chance, Pachie.
If we let the real Shogun become the Shogun in the game, he'll thoroughly enjoy it.
I know, Pako-san.
Oh, my!
Hold on a second. The sticks are a real mess now.
Oh, well, I'll hold the sticks, so everyone get over here when I give the signal.
Start!
Shogun, pick the right one!
What?!
Tsk. Too fast!
The Shogun stick... Who has it?
Ah, I'm the Shogun!
Pako-san...
He's great! He sensed everyone's movements and picked the Shogun stick.
But if Pako-san is the Shogun, it's not going to work.
Let's see... the person who picked number 4, strip down to your underwear.
I see! This order will make everyone visually entertained, not just Shogun-sama.
What a great idea!
Shogun-sama was the one?!
This is bad. Why did he draw number 4, stupid Lord?!
This is really bad. He's definitely upset.
Please forgive me. I didn't mean to do it.
And on this day he happens to be wearing briefs. That just adds to his shame!
The Shogun family traditionally wears manly briefs.
This is really bad. He heard me. And he even said that he wears those every day!
Anyway, we have to get him dressed and out of that underwear situation. Or we'll be exiled.
Either you or me must get the Shogun stick and-
Whoa! I lost again.
Hey! Why did you start the second round on your own?!
I got it! I'm the Shogun!
These guys are just enjoying the game!
They don't care about the Shogun!
Well, let me see...
Then my order is...
Number 3, give the person who looks the coldest your kimono.
...Sis...
Sis! You're great! You really care about the customers first!
You're a professional! You're a true pro!
Shogun, again?!
This is bad. It's been blurred out!
And the Shogun's not a Shogun. It's like a foot soldier's size!
The Shogun family has traditionally been the size of a foot soldier.
Damn it. He heard me. We'll definitely be beheaded now.
Pachie, let's give up on all the kimonos whatsoever.
As we can see, there's nothing to lose.
It can't get any worse than this. Things can only get better.
Hey...
This is really stinky, so can I take it off?
There is something worse...
Oh-oh! Shogun has grown teary-eyed. Is he crying? He's crying, isn't he?
Hey, hey, hey! This is bad! It's like he's getting bullied!
I remember somebody who cried just like that in my class!
This game is getting really bad...
Those girls...!
Finally, my time has come. I have only one desire...for Gin-san to have se-
Use the numbers, fool!
You hurt me, Otae-san.
Do you think you can get away with doing that to the Shogun?
I'll remember this!
Try it if you can!
Boxers... Number 5, go buy some boxers.
Sachan-san... You... could it be... You're doing this for the Shogun?
As we thought...the Shogun, again!
Our Lord... I wonder if he's having a great time right now.
Who knows...
I hope he didn't fall in love with Otae-san.
My Lord!
Why are you naked?!
Ah, my Lord.
Damn it. Things are getting even worse.
You bastard! What did you do to our Lord?!
Attention everyone! Follow our Lord!
Hey, wait!
Quickly draw!
You guys are still doing that? You better stop it!
[SHOGUN]
Shogun-sama, give us a command, anything you want.
Chief!
The hostesses are headed this way!
[Oedo Mart]
My Lord...
I brought underwear.
...Um...about all the rude things we did...
That's all right.
I had fun.
I'll ask Katakuriko to take me there again. So can you play with me again?
Do you know the origin of the word "hard-boiled?"
[Preview]
It comes from hard-boiled eggs. Right...
The moon tonight looks "hard-boiled."
Master... I'll have a Camus on the rocks.
[Note: Camus is a brand of Cognac.]
The next episode... "Hard-boiled Egg on a Man's Heart."
[Hard-boiled detective... Heiji Kozenigata]
[The legendary thief, Chogoro the Foxfire. A fateful confrontation with him?!]
Hard-boiled Detective is coming up next.